Memories
by MotherGoddessOfChickens
Summary: Hermione remembers how much she loves Fred. Rated M for language


Hermione Granger stared blanky at the book, not knowing how she could go on any longer. She couldn't even count the times she's hidden herself from Ron, cried in the shower, or thought about him. Every day, every moment, she felt him, remembered him. A tear hit the page, it darkened from the water. She didn't even notice, her insides were falling apart. The book fell the floor as she fled the room, straight to her bed.

So many memories on the way up the stairs.  
><em><br>When they first met._

"So, you're Granger? The know-it-all Ron's been tellin' us about?" He had said in his high voice, not yet hit by puberty. "Well nice to meet ya, Fred Weasly." She had turned away from him, slightly insulted. "She must store the knowladge in all the hair." He had whispered to George.

_When she first felt something._

It was late, almost midnight. Hermione had fallen asleep outside reading by the pond, her friends thinking it was funny to just leave her there. She scurried inside, hoping not to be caught by Filch or someone else who would give her detention. Foot steps echoed from around the corner, Hermione freezing in her tracks, trapped. Luickly, another student rounded the corner, Fred Weasly. He had grown taller and had a much deeper voice, puberty finally coming around as Hermione entered her third year.

"Granger? What are you-" But before the sentance could be finished, another set of footsteps were coming closer. Fred looked up, then around for a hiding spot. He snatced up her arm and pulled her behind a statue, where there was little room. They were pressed up agaisnt each other, his hand still in hers, his breath hot on her ear as he attempted to stay silent.

"Could a swore I 'eard someone..." Filch said, scanning around but seeing no one. Fred pushed in tigther, fearing that he might me showing. Both of them felt it, the small little spark as he shifted his arm around her so it wasn't smashed agaisnt the wall. The crazy old man stormed off, mad that he didn't get to bust anyone. Fred realesed Hermione and stumbled back into the hall.

"Let's go." He whispered, grabbing her hand and holding it all the way until they reached the common room.

_When he first showed affection._

"I can't stand all these Beauxbotons girls, all the guys are brainwashed!" Hermione admitted to Fred, who sat with her by the fire in the common room. He laughed under his breath, looking from the fire to her eyes.

"I can't stand the Durmstrang guys, all the girls are brainwashed." He could see the side of her perfect lips curve up into a smile, a laugh eventually escaping her lips. He smiled at her as she laughed, loving every moment of it.

"So is George still in the hospital wing?" She asked after a few moments.

"Yeah, for some reason the aging potion was worse on him, must of drank more than me. I'm surprised we didn't get into a whole lot of trouble, but the teachers like us." He smiled.

"What's not to like?" Hermione muttered, embarassed to say something flirty, looking down into her empty hands. They both glanced at the clock, realizing how late it was.

"I better get some rest." Fred stood off the floor where he sat infront of her sitting on the couch. He decided at last second to act, placing his hand under her chin to make him look at her. "Not all the guys are brainwaished." He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear before leaving.

_When he asked her to the ball._

The air was cold, snow leaving a thick white sheet over the ground. Hermione strolled around the school ground, admiring the frozen pond and snow covered trees. She loved the way the sun hit and made it sparkle like diamonds. Fred excused himself from George, who was in deep conversation with his ball date, Angelina. Trying not to slip, he made his way down the hill to where Hermione was standing.

"Hey, 'Mione." He said, her turning around shocked. Usually, he called her by her last name, not her nickname. His body language was odd, head down and hands deep into his coat pockets.

"Hi, Fred." She repsonded, easily telling the twins apart.

"How ya doin'?" He asked, glancing at her chocalte brown eyes.

"Well, I guess. It's a bit cold but it's pretty. You?" She repsonded. He instanly threw an arm over her shoulders.

"Better?" He asked. She nodded as her face turned red, the blush giving color to her pale skin. "Shall we walk?" The pair strolled away from the school, near Hagrid's Hut where they admired the tree's within the forrest.

"So...um, do you have a date to the ball?" Fred asked. Hermione turned to him, her blush instanly returning.

"Y-yes. I do. Why?" His face said it all as dissappoiment took over.

"I was just going to ask you, but, never mind. See ya around Granger." And he took off without looking back. Hermione stayed where she was feeling awful. She wanted to go with Fred more than anyone, even Viktor. She almost ran back to Fred, to tell him this, but she didn't want to hurt Viktor. Stupid feelings.

_When he got jealous._

The song ended, Viktor kissing Hermione's hand as he went to get drinks. She walked away from the spot, looking around for friends. She spotted Fred sitting alone with an empty cup in his hands. She glided over to him, Fred spotting her from a distance. God, was she beautiful. Her hair was tame, her dress was beauitful, and her face glowed with her smile. She was just perfect.

"Hey Granger." He smiled as she took a seat. "Where's your date?"

"Getting drinks." She sighned, not wanting to talk about him. She wished Fred was the one getting her drink, the one dancing with her, the one to kiss her hand. But he sat alone, his date abandoning him to dance with a Durmstrang.

"He any good?" Fred asked, still seeming to be in a good mood. Before she could repsond, Viktor approached with a cup and handed it to Hermione. He nodded at Fred, then pulled Hermione off the seat, placing a hand on her lower back.

"Hey." Fred was suddenly angry. "Keep the touching to a minimum, kay?"

"She is my date. I vill if I vant. Who are you?" Viktor said irritated.

"I don't give a damn if she's your date. Just don't-" He stopped, glancing at a shocked Hermione. "Nevermind. Go have fun."

_Their first kiss._

Harry and Ron zoomed past him as he headed towards the stairs to re-enter the Great Hall. He watched them confused as Ron mumbled something about Hermione. Fred turned the corner to see her sitting on the stairs, alone. He descended towards her, and straight away saw tears in her eyes.

"Hermione?" He asked, sitting next to her.

"Your brother is such-such an arse!" She cried tossing off the other hill. "Not a good night at all, thanks to him."

"Yes, he is quite the git." Fred smiled, watching a small smile emerge from her wet lips. "Hermione.." But he decided to act, actions speak louder than words. He placed a hand on the far side of her face to turn it towards him. Her lips were cold and wet as they met his warm, welcoming ones. She reacted instanly, placing a hand on his face affectionally.

She pulled away first after she realized what she was doing.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his lips longing for her seconds after they broke apart.

"I shouldn't. Ron would-"

"You just called him and arse and he made you cry. Who gives a _flying_ _fuck_about Ron?" Fred asked a little irritated. She once again apolgized before leaving him.

_Their second kiss._

The rest of their fourth year, Fred always held her hand in times when they were alone, hugged her longer than others upon metting, and always shot many winks at her. Hermione tried to resist, but it was hard when she felt so much for him. She was curled up on the couch in the Weasly's living room, staying at the Burrow for the last week of the summer before returning for year five. A book was in her lap and fire going.

Fred decended the stairs, awoken from his sleep by his stomach. He noitced Hermione straight away and felt himself blush. He was still in his pjs, plaid pants and no shirt. She didn't notice as he walked over to her, only when she felt him crawl onto the couch and hover over her did she set down the book. Warm met cold once again. The book fell to the floor as she wrapped his arms around the neck and pulled him closer.

He pulled back for a second, wanting to say something. He wanted to tell her how much he cared for her, how long he waited to kiss her again, but her eyes stared into his own, asking for him to come back. They kissed for sometime before a creak on the stairs broke them apart, George descending when his twin hadn't returned with some food. It was hard to hide the fact they were snogging, from the messy hair and swollen lips.

"Carry on, I'll go." George laughed, running back up the stairs. Fred stayed a little shocked when Hermione pulled him back onto the couch and kissed him gently once more before they both went to sleep.

_When they decided to be together._

Pain burned in Fred's hand as he exited detention. All the members of the D.A payed for it, having words carved into their skin. Hermione walked out behind him, sitting next to him on a bench where he was starting at his hand. _I must not disobey. _He glanced at her as she sat, remembering all the smiles they had exchanged at the meetings. He remembered the time where he'd fail a spell and she'd hold his hand to cheer him up. He remembered staying behind so they'd have a private place to kiss.

He gently took her bleeding hand, the same words etched into her skin. The hall was empty, so he wasn't afraid to gently kiss her cold lips. Their mouths did not open, but a years of passion passed between the two as their lips met. She pulled away, glancing down at his hand.

"I know you don't want Ron to know, about..us, whatever we are...what are we?" Fred asked, his orginal thought dissappearing as the question popped.

"I don't really know. But I don't want it to stop. I-I like you, Fred, very much. I just..." Her voice trailed off. She wasn't exactly sure why she didn't want Ron to know. She didn't like him, but she could imagine how he'd react to them as a couple.

"Fine, we don't tell. But you can't be with anyone else. You can only snog me." He gave her smile at his last sentance.

"Deal."

_When they were in love._

Fred had left the school that year, deciding education wasn't for him. But that didn't stop him from seeing Hermione through out her sixth year. On the weekends into Hogsmeade, he'd be in the village, holding her and snogging her in a hidden place, but only for short times, he didn't want anyone to notice her absence. They wrote almost everyday, telling their stories about the school and the joke shop.

After that year was when the trio decided they wern't going back to school. Hermione had altered her parents memories and headed for the Burrow where she'd be staying before they could go get Harry. What she didn't expect was Fred being there, leaving George back at the joke shop.

"Hermione! Glad to see your safe!" Mrs. Weasly exclaimed, giving the girl a hug. Ron hugged her, too, longer than usual. She pulled away from him slightly embarassed at his affection, him not noticing as he headed back into the kitchen with Ginny to help their mother prepare dinner.

"I heard you were coming. I just-wanted to see you." Fred spoke quietly, making sure no one but Hermione heard.

"I'm glad you're here." He quickly planted a short kiss on her lips, not wanting anyone to see. That night, she lie restless in Percy's old room, thoughts swimming in her mind. Fred pushed open the door, hoping she was awake too. She greeted him and scooted over, allowing him to crawl into the bed with her. They had been briefed on the seven Potter plan earlier that day, and both were still nervous.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.

"I love you, Fred." Hermione suddenly said, not knowing where it came from, only knowing that's all she felt at that moment. He glanced down into her eyes, emerald green meeting chocalte brown.

"I love you, too, Hermione."

_When everyone found out._

It was a horrible night. Mad-Eye was dead, George was gushing blood, and Mr. Weasly and Fred weren't back yet. Hermione had given a huge hug to Harry when she returned with Kingsley, but a short one to Ron, always feeling awkward with her friend who very obvousily faniced her. She watched the skies, scared. The man she loved was still missing, supposed to be back before her. Her insides were empty, fearing the worst.

But he soon appeared in the yard, each other being the first thing each other spotted. They didn't care who was watching anymore, they were both of age and no one could tell them what to do. They ran at each other, Hermione leaping into his arms, everyone shocked that they showed such affection. No one expected to them to begin to kiss, but that's what they did. They were safe from everyone questioning them as soon as Fred ran inside to George.

Half of the lot said they knew by the way they had looked at each, Ron seemed pissed, and the rest a little surprised.

_When she left._

"We're leaving tommorrow." Hermione tried to hold her tears in, not wanting to ruin her make-up that she had done up nicely for the wedding. Her words were random, for she said them in the middle of her dance with Fred. He quickly pulled away so he could see her face.

"_What?" _Leave? No, she couldn't, he had just gotten back to seeing her everyday. When he left her, he didn't do it on purpose. He was done with school, she was just leaving.

"I have to do, the mission is important. Please, Fred, I don't want to leave you, but I have to." She looked away, knowing if she saw his distraught face she'd lose it.

Kingsleys patronus with the warning had came about then. He held tightly onto her arms as the warning rang out, vanishing quickly.

"I-I love you, Fred. Goodbye." And with that, she ran away from him, searching for Harry and Ron.

_When she saw him again._

Disguised as the horrible Bellatrix Lestrange, Hermione stalked down Diagon Alley, her eyes fixed on Gringrotts. But a brightly coloered shop stood out to her. Her walk slowed as she spotted a familar face in the window. A tall, red-haired man was placing various items onto the shelves, not notching the woman watching him. Her hear longed for him, she wanted to go inside and kiss him, but she quickly remembered who she was and the mission.

Painfully, she walked away from him, trying not to tear up.

_When they were reunited._

Hermione watched as the entire Order walked through the portrait hole, smiling at Harry and the mass of Hogwarts students as they did. Fred stepped out, his eyes searching the crowd.

"Fred!" Hermione saw him first. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her towards him, kissing her passionatly. She hadn't felt his touch in six months, held him in so long. He hadn't seen her since the wedding, he didn't even have a chance to tell her he loved before she left that night, not knowing if he'd ever see her again.

"I love you, Hermione Granger. _Don't_leave again." He warned with a smile. That was all the time they had before the battle started.

_When she saw him dead._

The bodies layed motionless on the floor, her heart sinking with each familar face she saw. But everything stopped when she saw the Weasly's huddled around a body.

"No." She said outloud, pushing people out of her way as both her and Ron were bolting towards them. Her body went numb, her mind was blank. Fred layed on the ground, his eyes shut and skin ghost white. Her stomach flipped, she might throw up. "NO!" She screeched, collpasing and crying away every last tear she had.

The memories stopped as Hermione reached the top of the stairs, her eyes swimming in tears as she ran straight into Ron.

"Hermione, love, are you okay?" Her husband of two years asked her. She shook her head, unable to lie. He pulled her down to the table, her agreeing to talk. He knew she had been on edge latley, ever since May 4th and the article about the three year anniversey of the Battle of Hogwarts and Harry defeated Voldemort.

"Ron..." Her voice trailed off, not knowing where to start. "We need to divorce." Her crying began again.

"W-what?" He asked.

"I should have never married you." She admitted.

"Why?" Ron asked pissed.

"I'm in love with someone else." Ron didn't even use his common sense once she said this, he instanly assumed she was having an affair.

"How the bloody hell could you cheat? Who is this guy? I wanna have a word with him."

"You can't have a word. He died three years ago." Her voice cracked, and it all suddenly hit him. She had seen his name in the prophet when they mentioned the casualties, and she was reminded.

"You _still_ love him?"_  
><em>

"If I died, would you still love me?" He felt stupid for asking once she said this. "It's just not fair to you. A day doesn't go by where I don't think about him. A night doesn't pass where I don't dream of him. I hear him in my head all the time, I feel him all the time in my memories." She closed her eyes as she tried to explain her love to Ron.

But that was months ago. Hermione had left promptly that afternoon and took off. Currently, she was standing in a snowy graveyard, her eyes fixed on a grave that she hadn't seen in years. She heard the voice of Fred Weasly, calling to her as she sat next to the grave.

"_I love you, Hermione Granger. _Don't_ ever leave again."  
><em>


End file.
